July 2009
2 posts
Toting Guns and Going Shirtless
I still talk to probably only one person I went to high school with, and even then, it’s only when I’m back home, and all we do is smoke, eat snacks, and watch cartoons. Coincidentally enough, she has the same name and birthday as my boyfriend. Quite the talking point.
Usually the only times I hear about anyone are when my parents read in the local newspaper that someone I once...
May 2009
4 posts
Pastry ho
I got a new job. I am no longer selling children, civil rights, or hope for “progressive” politics. I now am dole out pastries and fuck up lattes for a living. I graduated college a year ago yesterday. Or the day before, I can’t really remember.
I work with Olivia at La Boulange, corporate French cafe that has a bunch of San Francisco and they’re looking to build some...
I just walked by a lady who looked at me, shook her head, and said to her running partner, “Already drunk.”.
I’m blazed and I’m drinking a black Sparks on the bus to Bay to Breakers. My goal is not to blackout. Or get in a fight.
my jig==is up
My title was supposed to be “my job” but I’m trying to smoke a spliff and type at the same time, I’m giving up on typing. I’m jamming “Daylight” by Matt and Kimnonstop. I’d resisted their charms for months but I’ve finally given in.
I work for a pyramid scheme of sorts, under the guise of an organizer and fundraiser for “progressive...
April 2009
8 posts
Positive
Waking up this morning panned out a lot like the opening scenes of Office Space and Wanted. I felt absolutely sick to my stomach, and sick in that way that is not even tangible like the 2009 H1N1 virus swine flu thing or a bad hangover. It’s a sickness that comes from having to do something you truly hate for hours on end and knowing that you’re going to have to keep doing this thing...
Overheard
rogges:
Today this guy sitting next to me in a coffee shop was telling his buddy how after Generation X The Simpsons Generation was born. A Generation Removed, devoted to the satirization of everything it observes. He didn’t describe it exactly like that, but he said that he considered coming up with the aforementioned designation his life’s ouvre. Well, he didn’t say it precisely in those...
My life is really good and really bad right now so...
I still haven’t moved to get ready. I just listened to Blink 182 and Girl Talk for like 25 minutes. Sometimes I crack myself up. What to wear, what to wear…
My life is kinda crazy dramatic right now so...
March 2009
22 posts
Earthquake
There was an earthquake this morning. I didn’t know what was going on and then Tayler was like, “We just had our first earthquake together.” And then we laughed for a while as the ground rumbled a little more. It was really funny. Then I forgot about it until just now. It’s laundry morning Monday so I’m allowed to forget things.
I’m definitely getting sick so I called Dr. Olivia and now I’m meeting my pharmacist at the Jamba Juice.
I just heard a man tell his daughter, “Now, you can have a hot chocolate or a Jamba Juice. I hope that child makes the right decision.
The new word to describe 3 days (or half a week) is a “bit.”. As in, Japanther is visiting in two weeks and a bit.
A case of the mondays
It is technically Wednesday, but it was really one of those Mondays you get so tired of hearing everyone bitch about but continue to bitch about yourself because it’s a very relatable subject about which to bitch and fuss. Here is why it was bad:
1) My irreverence and inability to tell when it’s appropriate to say something was the catalyst for another coworker’s decision to...
My life is so good right now: Morgan is visiting, Iris and David are on their way, and I’m on the train to go meet my parents. AND I’m listening to Kelly Clarkson.
I sampled about every Hostness cake product available on the San Francisco convenience store market yesterday. Yesterday was awesome.
I earnestly meant my last post. It was composed from my phone and that motherfucking cabbie knew that I was more interested in updating my tumblr and jammin to miley than paying attention to the fucking route he took to my house. motherfucker will be castrated by weasels for such a rip off and so I’m content for the night. 4 realz i’ve got a big day ahead of me. i’ve confided...
defsies
I’m listening to miley gettin psyched for tomorrow. I’m in a cabgoing home from Northbeach. Northbeach is kinda like the beta housr for balding aNd fattening adults except that reps from guiness supply chaspstick and pop rocks. No fuckin joke. Thanks to andrew hall for the boy least likely to recomewndation btw becuz its a perf miley bfollowq up getting me psyched up. Now its ti...
Michael Phelps' Kellogg's boxes go to SF food bank →
Those charming boxes of Kellogg’s cereal featuring Olympian Michael Phelps in all his nautical glory (who am I kidding, I don’t know what they actually look like, I don’t buy cereal) were given to a San Francisco food bank. I have many questions regarding this, the most pressing pertaining to the recent popularity of food banks among what were once the middle class: are the...
Wild About Otters: Monterey Bay Aquarium →
I am doing some Google image searching of otters and baby otters. It’s just a good way to start a Thursday. The web site isn’t as good as the real deal, obviously, but it’s kind of like looking at old pictures of a vacation. Actually, I think that’s exactly what it is for me. Anyway, the otters at the Monterey Bay Aquarium are awesome—the exhibit would be much...
fridaze
When I was unemployed, everyday was a Friday and that got way depressing. Now I once again get that giddy feeling of knowing I don’t have to do a fucking thing for two days except get drunk and go see The Watchmen.
I was just sandwiched between two hipsters on the train and I thought I was being all subversive and shit because I’m blasting Rihanna at an unhealthy level and I’m...
I got a free hot dog
Yesterday was a pretty good day at work. People were consistently not assholes, for the most part. So, in celebration of Not Total Asshole Day, I went with Greg to a bar off 6th and Mission where I paid for our drinks partly in quarters, dimes, and nickels. Then, this guy who works at the bar asked me if I wanted a free hot dog. And behind him there was a table where he was cooking hot dogs!...
Last Night
I was berated by an old woman for knocking on her door past 8 p.m. This isn’t a unique happening, but this lady kind of pissed me off—it was raining really hard, it was 8:15, and I really don’t think I scream “stranger danger.” And seriously, it took 2 seconds for her to get up from in front of the TV to yell at me for 5 minutes. She could have saved herself so...
February 2009
25 posts
Drunk Asshole Day
Fridays in the world of Andrea Miller are the days to be a drunk asshole. I embarrass myself a lot. And I like to lecture people about my favorite things, including but not limited to:
1. Madame Bovary and French literature in general
2. The Who
3. My family and how my family is probably better than the family of the person to whom I am talking
4. Kanye West
5. Burritos from Taqueria...
My night (or hour) in jail
I kind of got arrested last night and I don’t clearly remember or understand what happened. When big, important things happen, I tend to get caught up and sort of black out all the important details. I wasn’t even fucked up, I was at work saving the children and what not, and allegedly we broke the law in a number of ways: we were not actually canvassing in Mill Valley where we had a...
WatchThis was posted on io9.com yesterday. All things Buffy are awesome and now I have something to do as I fight of this hangover headache: bust out the 4 seasons (I know, only four) that I own and find solace and meaning in one extraordinary girl’s endeavor to fight evil and the woes of high school at the end of the 20th century. I’m still waiting for my slayer powers to actualize....
When in doubt, eat jam or marmalade from the jar. Preferably until you might throw up.
Skittles Vodka
The other night Tayler and I decided to infuse vodka with Skittles. I have pictures, but because I sampled our creation, I cannot post them at this time. I feel simultaneously delighted and ready to throw up, so I’ve had two glasses of water, which feels like I’ve drank 7 Mountain Dews, and I’m trying to figure out how to go to bed without dying or something. Skittles vodka...
The Laundromat
It is laundry day, a day that comes around about as much as the new moon. For reals, I only do laundry when I absolutely must. This is the second day in a row I’ve worn my swimsuit bottoms because I’m out of clean underwear. The laundromat makes me nervous because I’m paranoid that people can see that I don’t wear sexy underwear and most of the socks I own have...
Obligatory Valentine's Post...wah wah wah
I spent Valentine’s Day hungover as fuck… and hoping that my new work friends will talk to me again after seeing me at my finest. One time, my friend Ben gave me the nickname “A. Thriller,” which is used to describe the inebriated version of myself. I could make a lot of excuses, like that I had only eaten once at 3 p.m., I was dehydrated, and I’d just gotten done...
I am sick and going to Redwood City. I hate Redwood City and Redwood City hates me. I hope I can black out for 5 hours and then I’ll be back in San Francisco. One of the directors got mad at me for talking about giving another canvasser a fake I.d. I don’t think I will like that guy. I could definitely beat him up. I don’t respect people I could beat up and who don’t...
oh Rihanna
I think I need a pair of brown lace-up boots more than I need food for the next month. Food is temporary but rad boots are forever. I’m such a good advocate for Save the Children.
Dog amendment
According to my dad, the Westminster winner, Stump or whatever, is actually cool, and because for the most part my dad is cool, I’m going to have to retract my last critique of the alleged winner. I guess, though, if the Westminster Dog Show was up to me, it would be a once-a-year, week-long celebration of how dachshunds are better than most things in the universe. It would be a week-long...
Dog Amendment
According to my dad, the winner of the Westminster dog show, Stump, is actually really cool, and because my dad is pretty cool so I trust his judgment, I must retract my critique of the alleged winner. If the Westminster show was up to me, it would be a once-a-year, week-long celebration of how dachshunds are better than most things in the universe. It would turn into a week-long shaming of all...
