my jig==is up

My title was supposed to be “my job” but I’m trying to smoke a spliff and type at the same time,  I’m giving up on typing.  I’m jamming “Daylight” by Matt and Kimnonstop.  I’d resisted their charms for months but I’ve finally given in.

I work for a pyramid scheme of sorts, under the guise of an organizer and fundraiser for “progressive groups.”  College educated kids are hired to recruit anyone who can raise more than at least $100 in one night and then paid salary to keep these people on staff and earning above some quota.  This seems all sort of good, but the people they recruit are ridiculous.  I am a rarity as a recruit, but I was out of work, hadn’t worked in months, and had no other future options, so I called in based on their ad on Craigslist.  My boss said I was the best interview she’s ever had.  Little did she know that in only months time she would be bedridden with two broken heals, demoted to an assistant director, and I would be dating her then “boyfriend,” of sorts.  She should have never hired me, she would have been better off.

But the people who organize the batshit company I work for are even more nuts than their recruits.  They seriously believe they are doing hardcore serious progressive political work.  They’re ruthless.

My office is not.  We only talk about 3 things: 1) drugs (barry likes pills, joseph and nick are pot heads, i’m stoned all the time and no one ever knows, and everyone drinks way too much) 2) sex (we only really talk about the sexploits of Barry, the Irishman who once hooked up with a transvestite and 3) Laday Gaga—she has an ugly face but cool style, we’ve listened to “Poker Face” too much but it’s still okay to watch Kid Cudi’s “Poke Her Face” (or whoever did that remix).  That’s all we do when we’re not canvassing is talk about those things.  And believe me, we do as much as possible to not actually canvass.  We take bathroom breaks, taco breaks, coffee breaks, ice cream breaks, phone breaks, napping in GG Park on 420 breaks…it goes on.  We still do alright (well not me right now) because we’re wholesome and articulate doing shit, shit work.  

So imagine an office of people who do as much as possible to alleviate the stress and frustration of having to do a disgusting job forced to join the ranks of an office that does not question what it is doing.  I was appalled when I was expected to start working at 4:10.  At our office, we’re lucky if we’ve left by that time.  We all have to order food, desert, coffee, anything to prolong lunch.  Then, when we get to our destination we have to go to the bathroom again, get coffee again, and dick around for another fifteen minutes.  We also stop at 8.  It used to be 8:45 after 9:00 proved to be too late, then it became 8:30 and then eight.  The Berkeley people told me today, “So, we’ll pick you up at 9:15.”  I almost choked.  Yeah right, I just went to Safeway and made phone calls.

I don’t know what to do because my work people are my only friends but I cannot work there anymore.  I don’t think we’d really have anything to talk about but work.